What the FUCK is This?

It's exactly what it sounds like. Let's be real, even with all the medical advancements made and to be made in my lifetime, I simply won't get around to every idea that pops into my head (due to a chronic case of the lazies). So, I figured I'd help my fellow hacks out by offering up some ideas for them to steal so they don't have to plagiarize people who want their honor upheld. I think some of them are pretty neat. If you disagree, well, they're free, what are you, some kind of jerk? I may pull from this list myself. In the off-chance we both steal the same idea from this pool, that's cool with me if it's cool with you.

Ghost Story Ideas

• A man becomes possessed but his friends and family like him better now than when he was acting himself.
• Ghost dog that steals dog food at night, pisses/shits on carpet, tears up the couch, and the family (non-ghost) dog gets blamed for this.
• Pervert ghost (opens shower curtains, slaps asses, feels up tenants of the house it's haunting).
• The ghost of someone too agoraphobic to move on to the other side.
• Oafish man falls over during a seance, turns out it was just another heart attack, nothing serious.
• Ghost that changes the TV/radio station when something he doesn't like is playing.
• Ghost that plays cards and chess with a lonely homeowner.
• Ghosts getting collected by ghostbuster-types as an allegory for deportation/ICE.
• Widow's home is haunted by malevolent spirit posing as the ghost of his or her spouse.
• Stage haunted by ghosts of actors who performed on it.
• Swamp haunted by a fucking ghost crocodile.
• Remake set haunted by cast and crew of original film (maybe they perished tragically due to some accident at the original film's release?).

Anthologies

• Collection of reviews for fake movies/books/plays/albums. You get to experiment with farcical ideas and can characterize the critic through his or her reviews.
• Each vignette is a story told by a different patron to a bartender (who can assume an anti-Rod Serling/Cryptkeeper role, that of an iconic avatar for the audience).
• A collection of positive reviews of my books.
• Book about litter of kittens/puppies and each chapter depicts the life of a different sibling as they grow up in different environments/homes.
• Each story takes place in a different department of a department store and reflects a different genre related to that department.
• Each story about a different passenger on a bus, where they are going, and their lives.
• Prose/poetry hybrid in which the prose is describing an open mic and each poem/piece is in the style of a different performer at the event.

Plays/Theater/Scripted Podcasts

• One man, one woman play in which they play each other's respective romantic partners in life, allegory about how we have idealized expectations of the opposite sex.
• Graduation ceremony but the students are eulogized as they "graduate" into the afterlife.
• Scripted podcast presenting itself to be "about" one subject but is actually a character study of the host(s and their dynamic).
• A theater actor (Johnny Depp or Gary Oldman-type) is the lead suspect in a criminal investigation but thwarts interrogators using his command of body language and acting. This could be a stage play in which a project pointed at a blank wall shows pre-recorded footage depicting the recollection of the events as they are narrated by the actors on stage. You could also project a lie detector test so the audience sees the results visually as the actor answers the questions.
• Thriller: Entire story is a hostage negotiation in real-time. (Also listed under miscellaneous, as it could also be a book, script, poem, or maybe even a song.)
• Entire story is a conversation in a confession booth between a (wo)man and priest.
• Failing relationship/marriage saved by Covid lockdown.
• (One-man stage show) Comedian slowly loses mind during set. Starts comedic but gets progressively darker. Ends with suicide on stage.

Choose Your Own Adventure for Adults

• Haggling car price.
• Marriage proposal.
• Home invasion.
• Beef with the neighbors.
• Competing for that promotion.
• You're a drug dealer.
• Meeting the parents
• Making dinner for guests
• You're a celebrity who's been cancelled.
• Bombing your stand-up set.
• You have contracted a serious illness. How do you spend your final days?
• Soundcloud rap career.
• Going clubbing.
• Taking your kid to the store.
• First date.
• Zombie survival.
• You've been kidnapped.
• Talk your way out of a DUI.
• Argument with spouse.
• Court trial
  • You're the lawyer.
  • You're the defendant.
• You're a cop on a house call gone wrong.
• Losing weight.
• Convincing the husband to get a dog.
• Lost in the woods.
• You suspect that your spouse is cheating.
• You have fallen and can't get up.
• You're in prison.
• "I want a divorce!"
• Your sidechick is pregnant.
• You're a mobster.
• Overcoming addiction.
• So, you said something inappropriate at a party.
• The homeless experience.
• Lost in the city at night.
• In-laws over for the weekend.
• You're a cashier trying to calm an irate customer.
• Trapped on an island.
• A car ride with Todd.
• When an ex calls.
• Bar fight.
• You're writing an adult Choose Your Own Adventure book.
• Meeting your daughter's first boyfriend.
• Waking up next to a stranger.
• High school reunion.

Miscellaneous 

• Crazy cat lady turns ex-boyfriends into her pet cats.
• Film critic begins receiving reviews of his life in the mail.
• Couple struggles to adapt after one begins transitioning.
• Fall of Rome retold as the rise and fall of an internet message board. (Make entire scripted forum as a performance piece.)
• Tenants of an apartment complex struggle to escape as it burns down.
• Just a book about some bros going barhopping (The Odyssey by way of Bukowski. This one might be too close to Swingers, so, tread lightly.)
• Poem comparing writing to working out (editors=spotters). A writer's weakness (ie: poor characterization) compared to something like skipping leg day.
• Book taking place in a mechanic shop, slice of life piece.
• Marriage falls apart as the couple builds a home.
• Four-part series about a group of friends in high school or college (one part per year). 
• Man who always dreamed of being a comedian but is too afraid to pursue his dreams entertains those in his life with his jokes.
• Thriller: Entire story is a hostage negotiation in real-time. (Also listed under plays, as it could also go that way. Could also function as a film script, poem, or Nebraska-era Springsteen or Dylan-esque song)
• Director stalks his former leading lady/ex-wife, claiming she's his muse. (Think Hitchcock and his penchant for blondes.)
• Stream of consciousness book about someone realizing they are asleep and dreaming.
• Entire book/film is a first date. Ambiguous ending: Will there be a second?
• A Day in the Life of a Gym Instructor
• Book about a young couple meeting, falling in love, marrying, having children, growing apart, and staying in a loveless marriage.
• Book written from the perspective of a woman who loves me.
• Found footage film: Videos obtained from cult meetings or a Jim Jones-esque commune.
• Method actor can no longer distinguish reality from role. 
• (Short story.) Entire piece is an argument between two people.
• A couple goes to the same spot to watch for UFOs every year. Story is just one year's visit.
• A man who transforms into a banana for five minutes every time he hears the word "Soap."
• A "found poem" composed of compliments given to me.
• John Hughes-esque story taking place in a coffee shop. (Think Cheers for teens.)